The Mirror
One of the surprises in teaching adult beginner was what posed the greatest challenge to my students. I expected challenges like difficulty with turnout, or lifting the leg up high, or keeping the arms rounded, or pointing the feet correctly. But to my surprise, the greatest challenge came before class even began: the mirror. In a dance studio, a mirror normally lines the entire front of the room. All your hangups, insecurities, flaws, shortcomings, mistakes… you can no longer hide from. The mirror holds them all right in front of you.
One of my students put it this way:
“I remember being so intimidated coming to my first class. Would my t-shirt, leggings and socks be ok?? I was convinced everyone would be professional dancers and that I would just make a fool of myself! Also, I'd recently gone through a horrible break up and was grasping at ways to make myself feel at home again in NYC. And I wanted to find a way to feel in touch with myself, physically and emotionally. I felt lost, and the first time I looked in the mirror in ballet class, that's what I saw reflected back to me.”
Now, we find ourselves on Zoom every day… also staring at our reflection. Your webcam serves as your own personal mirror, allowing you to watch yourself in every Zoom meeting you’re in. Research has shown that Zoom fatigue is not just a product of the two-dimensional, impersonal assembly of screens, but the fact that we aren’t accustomed to staring at our reflection throughout the normal course of a work day. And every time we catch a glimpse of ourselves, we evaluate our reflection and make sure it’s “just right” — and adjust or touch up if it’s not.
And at the heart of it, isn’t that the challenge of a life of faith? Isn’t our greatest challenge striving for the integrity, wisdom, love, compassion, courage, and justice of a life in Christ, and being faced with the ways we fall short?
St. Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, says: “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Be imitators of God. Be the mirror image of God. Reflect God back to the world. It’s a tall order.
The student I mentioned above has more to say to us about the mirror, though. “I felt lost and, perhaps sadly, the first time I looked in the mirror in ballet class, that's what I saw reflected back to me. However, as that first class went on, I realized that I was strong. The courage that it had taken me to come to class in the first place buzzed through me. And I realized that I could do it. And that I could keep coming back and trying, improving and having fun! I wasn't ever the most graceful person in class, but seeing myself in the mirror that first time really made me aware of my whole self. That I was more than what I'd let myself believe. Since that first time I looked in the class mirror to this day, I continue to see someone who is vital, strong, and full of faults that can be embraced, even accepted, rather than hidden.”
We are so much more than our shortcomings, flaws, or mistakes. What the mirror really tells us is that it is our whole self – not only our flaws, but also our gifts and our potential – that is standing in the reflection. Our whole self is there in the studio, working, practicing, imitating the teacher, striving to be better. Our whole self is here, seeking to follow Jesus, not shying away from the mirror of God’s loving way. When we boldly look at the Christian way, the way of Jesus, there is truth, not judgment. There is honesty, not shame. The way of Jesus gives us a lot to live up to, and it welcomes us into the journey. None of us is a virtuoso. We’re all students in the studio, seeing ourselves in the mirror, looking to God our instructor.
This life of not only following but imitating Christ is a beautiful dance, friends. Let’s keep learning it.